Not-So-Grand

I know why the Grand Inquisition
Quit
Though I'm sure they enjoyed their
Work
Where all is play and life's a
Stage
They quit because there was nothing
Worth
Questioning or testing or judging etc.

I don't know the Grand Inquisition's
Face
But I may as well, for I fit the mold
Myself
Questions are asked to lead to
Answers
Secretly hoping the answer is
Guilty
Of not being what the Grand Inquisition thinks is worthy

The Grand Inquisition is but a
Road-Block
Perhaps that is its role in
Life
To block happiness with its utter
Selfishness
To cripple love as if heartbreak is a
Game
They stopped because they think I can't walk the road
And so there is no point in guarding it.

Survival

I’m trying
To walk lines
Not just one,
Like Johnny Cash,
And not because
You need me sober.
I walk these lines
Like a tight rope
Because I need balance:
To not be too cold
And not be too warm
Or at least to not seem either
To not be too old
And not be too young
When I want to be both
For you and for me and everyone else
Between the lines.
I want to be me
But still I need balance
So I don’t fall
From one end or another
(I don’t think there is a safety net).
So I try to balance
And walk towards you
Not just as one who walks tight ropes
But as a tight rope
Artist

Double Haiku Combo Breaker

Hundreds of times I
Have tried to describe you with
New and old clichés

Each time I fail
Because you leave me speechless
And you are Beauty

Oasis

I want
To be where there’s life
To know the nature of reality
To feel the shock of the lightning
But I think I’d rather
Have a simple fairy tale.
But what’s my story (Morning Glory)?
And how do I get there?

I’m unable to roll with it
Though I try to soldier on
And instead I find
That I’m falling
And failing
‘Cause the way I’m feeling
Isn’t something I can tell you
Because I don’t think you want to
Hear.

I would definitely
Maybe
Catch the wheel
If I know it would take me to you
The maybe it’s only because
I can’t assure that I won’t,
Like a butterfly,
Be broken.

I just want a fairy tale,
That one happy spot
In the middle of life’s desert.
Though with your hand in mine
The desert’s a stage,
And the play in this case
Has an always-happy
Ending.

360

You say I hold no power
And that I make no sense.
These words hit home,
I feel alone,
And truth be told, I wince.

You dig out my soul
It’s black like coal
The color is a lie,
(Like secondhand smoke)
And again I must ask “Why?”

Why do I write these words
That breathe out all my fears?
And why can’t I be numb again
And hold back mental tears?
I was so numb for years…

This rhyming scheme is scattered
Like thoughts pulled from my heart
Except those
Like arrows
All
Find their way towards a target…
And therein lies your art.

I’m sure this poem makes no sense
But that’s just who I am,
Still nonsense always finds its end
And to that I say:
Frankly, my dear
I DO give a damn.

Under A Spell

I have a question
Quite important
I really need to know:
Do you believe in fairies?
My dear,
Please tell me so.

You see, my dear
The tale like this
Along with my inquiry:
Once I lost my way
And trapped inside the forest I
Thought readily
That I might die
Til I heard the golden tinkling bells
Of golden fairy laughter
Meeting my panicked yells
So far away
Yet close enough
That I am here today
Their call brought me close
And I don’t think it a sin,
But on that day
My belief in fairies did begin.

Do you believe in fairies?
For I believe in you,
And if such beauty as yours exists
Why can’t fairies live too?

I see their hands
Warming your own
Serving justice to the crime
Of me letting you be alone.
I see their glow
Reflected as your lips part into smiles
And I feel their magic
Pulling my feet long and dreary miles.

Some people blame the fairies
For evil that they do
I can only thank their gift
Of bringing me to you.

Now dearest
As I stand here
My heart pressed to your hand
Will you tell me please
That you also
Believe in fairy land?

Confessions

The traffic light on the crooked path
Is broken.
“Red” said I
“Green” I got instead,
Now I see “yellow”
And I don’t know what that means.

Some people think yellow
Is a sign
To speed up
Before they see RED
And others see YELLOW
As RED.
I think YELLOW
Means decisions…

I stare at the traffic light
And confess
That I’m afraid
Of error
Because if I tried to embrace it
I would not know
Which side
To ‘err’ on

I spent so much time
Saying “no”
And yet received firm whispers of
YES
And now I confess
That I may have outwitted myself
And set as an ambush
The traffic light

Psalm

The water is like glass
With ripple after ripple
Caused by the kisses of the wind

So transparent,
So clear,
I see right through it
Yet at the same time…
I can’t.

Today the lake is
A one-way glass.
Instead of seeing through
The window
I know is there
It seems a mirror.

And I stare into it…
Questioning.


The beauty, Oh God
Answers my inquiries
As to where you are.

And I can’t help but think
That I’m surrounded by
Watches,
Like Paley.

But I think even the rocks
Are as watches
And the lake is a timekeeper too
With hands and a face
Displaying not time
But You

Whatever

Sometimes apathy seems the only armor
To protect myself
I spout out excuses, pleas, and “please”
And the one response that makes sense is
Whatever

So ambiguous
I wrap myself in it
And it’s all I want to tell the world
“LEAVE ME ALONE”
Doesn’t seem half as effective as
Whatever

“Wanna know the sad thing?”
I whisper to the darkness
“I won’t be alone!”
“I can’t!”
It hurts…but
Whatever

More words long to be written
To begin their journey
From my mind to yours.
So I could write more…

Whatever

Rain Song

I feel like maybe
We’re alone
In a crowd of other people
We are two souls
Four feet under the table
And I feel like maybe
The way the wind strokes your hair
Gives away the fact that you
Can’t leave your door,
(Shutting it in the face of possibility)
Without finding love.

I can’t get away from
Whatever it is
That brings down this rain.
I slip
I fall
I rise up tall
I live to try again.
And this burning of soul
Like the burning of bridges
Gets me through the day
And through the rain.

Invisible hands
Breaking me down
So I can rise on the remnants of the old
Like a phoenix
To make it to somewhere higher
Where love lives.
Play the piano
Loop it back
So I can have a repeated soundtrack
As I repeat my
Fall.

I think you are thunder
And lightning may strike me
As you herald the rain.
I slip
I fall
I rise up tall
I live to try again.
As I gaze in your eyes
Rain clouds my own
Yet I fight it back
To look at you
Through the pain.

Sometimes I think
That words make more sense
With music.
And thoughts make less sense
Alone.
Tonight out remedy,
Accompaniment
Is rain.

Shadow Tales - Rain Down Your Pain

The fairies tore the room apart with their screams in a desperate attempt to satisfy their need to be heard. They may as well have been silent, for all the good it did them, but silence was not their way…

Much more vocal, more ear-splitting, and more heart-breaking were his screams. He screamed, not because he needed to be heard, but because he couldn’t hold all the pain that filled his heart to the breaking point. It was release, and there was nothing sweet about it. Instead, all the doubt, all the loneliness, all the misplaced trust inside of him came gushing out of him, like blood from a wound he couldn’t keep shut. His cry rushed to embrace the rafters, bouncing off the walls, like children full of sugar. The pain left him, only to be replaced by new, deeper, suffering…the scar tissue never given a chance to form.

Today could be beautiful, in spite of all the pain, if only he knew that she lived. He should have known, because her heart still beat within his chest, but it had been his for so long without his knowing, he couldn’t be expected to remember that the heart that was keeping him alive was not his own. Hearts are such strange things…they work, only in order to survive and when they find someone they value more than life, they simply give themselves over to the task of providing life for someone else, shifting from one shell to another, over the bridge that is formed by two souls in love. His heart, her heart, it was indistinguishable by now, really only two pieces of the same two-piece puzzle. He screamed, but not because he was in pain that no man had ever experienced before. He screamed because he had no way of knowing that she was free of pain…and the faint chance that she was tore him apart.

The fairies knew enough to answer his question…and more…but for once they were silent.

His captors had chained him to the wall, much more crudely than Fate had linked him to her. The invisible bonds he had so willingly embraced were something he would carry with him, gladly, forever. The cheap, rust, man-made shackles that coldly held him in the dark were intended only to be with him until death.

The chains, seeming to have a life of their own for a brief second, tightened around him, constricting his chest and depriving him of the oxygen he needed, almost as much as he needed to be with her. But he was used to going without air, she took his breath away the first time he saw her, and she continued to do so smiling whenever his words went the same way as his air intake.
He wouldn’t say he knew what love was…but he did, whether he thought so or not. Every thought he had for her was love, and love was the only thing that kept him alive in his current predicament. Love was also what was causing him so much pain…

…or it could have been the fairies pulling at his chains…