Teaspoon Emotions

Glazed eyes in class
Sleepwalk through the day
Autopilot running my body
While my mind and my heart
Engage
In insignificant battle.
Gut instinct whispers against
Reason
Logic
The “safe” way.
But I fight it with
What little strength
My heart has
To spare
Because I know
My feelings
Don’t matter.
Not to be arrogant,
But I’m usually right…
Or at least not wrong,
Erring on the side of caution
So as not to risk my heart
In the pursuit of love.
Perhaps you’re only helping me
In defense against myself
By placing me in his shadow.
In that case I thank you,
Even though it shatters me,
I’ll be fine I suppose,
My emotions aren’t that important.
Maybe he’s greater,
But does that make me
Less?
Probably…
It’s best I not forget it
Lest my teaspoon emotions
Become ambitious…
I suppose they are already,
But that’s not important,
And neither are they.
No matter how many of us
I feel like the one extra wheel.
Is this your design?
It’s surely not mine.
Hide away
But at least be honest.
Don’t talk if you can’t
But stick to what you say.
On second thought
I’m being ambitious
And demanding the rights of
Common courtesy.
Clearly this is laughable
For someone with emotions
Like me…
Like a teaspoon.